Originally posted January 7, 2011[DE - Deutsche Übersetzung]
This is more of a personal blog story that I'd like to share. I hope I find some way to articulate what prompted me to start writing this a couple of days ago. I will try, at least. It may be quite sad (really, so be forewarned) and even "over the top" in places, but I hope you'll understand where it leads.
This week (January 2011, when this was originally published) has no doubt torn many of us up and brought back painful memories of the day we got that awful news. Personally, I have loved Michael with every heartbeat, more than I could ever hope to explain, from the time I was 12 up through now, at nearly 40. And I always will. June 25, 2009 was quite simply the worst day of my life, in what became a sort of lost year. (Although, perhaps less "lost" than originally thought, for it led people to reach out to others with love, to start beautiful projects, connect with new friends and sent us on spiritual journeys that continue today.) Nevertheless, when I got that news it was as if every atom of my being had been shattered into a billion pieces. I collapsed into a pool of more tears than I thought were humanly possible. It quite simply broke me. I know many of you will understand.
In those first two weeks I noticed many of what I'll call "side thoughts"; things I wouldn't assume I'd have energy to concern myself with, but that nonetheless seemed of paramount importance at the time. I guess this is common when losing a loved one. And that time was filled with words like "memorial" and "funeral", while rumors swirled about how the family might handle these issues. And with frazzled nerves and broken souls, it was almost too much to bear to even think of it. The only thing fitting in my heart at the time was a full royal-style procession with solemn crowds of hundreds of thousands or even millions lining the streets of Los Angeles, shutting down the entire city, tears in their eyes, flowers in their hands and bowing their heads with muffled cries in utmost respect for this amazing genius, humanitarian and father. It was what my heart felt at the time and you certainly don't have to agree with that. The globally broadcast memorial was beautiful and touching and I am thankful for it. There was another step to take after that, though, and this one left me with one thought over and over: "Now I understand the Taj Mahal."
I'm sure you've at least seen pictures of the Taj Mahal, but perhaps some of you don't know the story. It is a grand mausoleum built in India in the 1600's by the grief-stricken Mughal emperor Shah Jahan. Construction began one year after the the death of his dearly beloved third wife, as a monument to their eternal love, and it took over twenty years to complete the full expanse and decoration of the mausoleum and surrounding gardens. Hundreds of artisans and craftsmen were involved in its creation and today it is considered one of the most beautiful buildings in the world. Whatever one cares to believe about the relationship between the emperor and his wife Mumtaz Mahal, one may ask the question why someone would go to these lengths to memorialize another? As the emperor himself wrote, "The sight of this mansion creates sorrowing sighs; And the sun and the moon shed tears from their eyes." So was it his unending devotion? Her incredible beauty? Perhaps both. But all that was really needed was LOVE.
So there I was, my heart in anguish, my soul in shreds. I cannot express how incredibly precious this man is to me. My dear Michael, my teacher, my best of joy, the ultimate love of my life (no offense to my husband, a fellow fan who thankfully understands ;). I realized, though, that I could not build Michael a 'Taj Mahal'. I am not an empress. I am not the queen of the world. Heck, I can't even afford a new car. But if you can possibly understand this, in my heart during those dark days was this vision of a heavenly mausoleum that would be the most incredibly beautiful building ever built in the history of the world, made to last for thousands of years. It would be so grand, so huge as to be seen from space, yet so delicate it could only exist in a fairytale. It would be so exquisite, so other-worldy in its beauty that people would literally fall to their knees in awe on approach. And it would be made with the most divinely intricate architecture, carvings and artwork, reflecting styles around the world, from the most breathtaking Indian palaces to the most splendid gothic cathedrals and stunning crystal mosaics. The architect would go unnamed. The only name important for the future to know was "Michael Jackson", and that this MJ person was SO loved that people built THIS in his memory! It would be the ultimate monument to love, to the man who gave so much of it and asked us to do the same, who brought it out of us and kept it alive in our hearts like a little glowing ember even in the worst of moments. A masterpiece befitting a beloved king, who through nearly all his years inspired such impassioned declarations of forever that people would approach him in ecstatic tears. (Are we crazy? Or just privy to some unfathomable secret?) I knew such a building was impossible and yes, really over the top. It wasn't sane or logical or practical, but such is the realm of emotion. It was just the feeling I had at the time; "Oh, if I could at least give him this!"
And before you think I'm about to announce that we're collecting funds for this or something (no, no, don't worry), I want to tell you that I realized recently that we actually are creating this, albeit metaphorically. Every piece of the truth that is spoken or put into writing in a thoughtful way, every loving act of protection or vindication (such as stopping the Discovery Channel's autopsy show or getting Michael's name uncovered on Gardner School's auditorium), every tree planted in his honor (entire forests have been already!), every donation that is made to those in need, every monthly global prayer to spread L.O.V.E., every effort we take to Heal the World, stand up against injustice, to stop war or combat poverty, every toy given to a children's hospital, every bedtime story we read to our little ones, every smile we put on someone's face by playing his music or emulating his kindness ... if it was inspired by Michael, we're creating that monument to love and for him, piece by piece, brick by brick.
And I see that happening all over. So many wonderful websites, so many fan groups working on humanitarian missions in all their various forms (and more to come!), all encouraged by a shared love, sparked by one man. There are so many reasons to do the right thing (not just because of Michael, of course), but don't underestimate the power of one person to inspire others on that path, nor undervalue them or the source of that inspiration. In the end, the ultimate source is LOVE, and passing that on lays another corner stone in a masterwork to last generations. Not of marble or stone, but of hope and humanity. That legacy is one of Michael Jackson's greatest achievements... and so much warmer and alive than any physical monument could be! It is his living Monument of Love and we each have the power to make our little part just as glorious as Michael's and our hearts can envision. "Change the world." ♥ -- January 7, 2011 by BeGodsGlow on http://www.majorloveprayer.org
[German translation/Deutsche Übersetzung]
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Originally posted January 7, 2011[DE - Deutsche Übersetzung]